captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

(via highbloodstriderrider)

tall-dark-n-creepy:

dajo42:

whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”

Then stare right into their eyes and say, “I hope”

(via acrumblebatchwithcustardfreeman)

autisticqueermihashi:

piratecoves:

poopflow:

people who dry swallow pills go hard as hell and should not be fucked with

i used to dry swallow pills until a searing pain developed in my throat and chest and with the help of the world wide web i found out it burned a hole in my fucking throat please take your pills with water kiddies it’s worth it

HOLY SHIT OKAY

(via get-back-to-hogwarts)

thefrogman:

[video] [h/t: lawebloca] thefrogman:

[video] [h/t: lawebloca] thefrogman:

[video] [h/t: lawebloca] thefrogman:

[video] [h/t: lawebloca]

drxcos:

i hate when people r like “do you like them? oooh you’re blushing you do!!!” like, no you cold corndog im fucking blushing bc you’re embarrassing me and making me uncomfortable

(via were-the-freakin-winchesters)

the-psycho-cutie:

i didn’t realize growing up meant dying inside but hey it’s whatever

(via mywayacrosstheuniverse)

suckmyvertical:

clothes should not be considered on sale if they’re still more than $20

(via phoenixnotfelix)